Sunday, December 1, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Male Feminism or Pro-Feminsm Troubled?
"The ultimate goal of all feminists, male or female, is and rightly should be the welfare and social and political emancipation of women"- Ally Fogg, Trouble with Male Feminism, the guardian.com
"Whilst I will identify myself as a male feminist, my "ultimate goal" is not the emancipation of women per se, but the realization of an all round better society when we are all treated equally. Women's emancipation is an obvious part of this".-Tim Kay, Comment to the Blog
Reading "Trouble with Male Feminism" was actually troubling. But upon reading the aforementioned reply to the blog, I feel much better, not just because he is a male feminist, but because it is extremely crucial for everyone to understand where this movement is heading or what it stands for, be it man, woman or dog.
Feminists essentially believe in equality. As Gloria Steinem once said, " Different, but equal". We understand that women are different from men, but that does not in any way mean we do not deserve to live a respectable life, where we are not objectified, victimized or subsidized in any way. We are human after all. The recent trial in UK where a 41-yr old man walks free despite having sexually abused a 13-yr old girl, is the kind of vilification of women that feminism is trying to remove. (In this case, the victim is a child !) This movement will not succeed if all men view feminism as anti-male or anti-masculine. I have personally met male feminists and they are a very cheerful lot indeed. Posting a public opinion piece claiming ( in its title) that there is a problem with male feminism is a move that was posed to dissuade and discourage all men from viewing feminism in a positive light. A very cheeky move, I say! But I for one do not feel that it would succeed in dissuading men or women who have already made up their minds about sexism, misogyny or feminism, because those people who do speak against societal norms would have to be the kind of people who hold steadfast to their beliefs and it would take more than an opinion piece to change their minds.
The post should have been aptly titled, "Why I think men cannot be feminists" instead of "The trouble with male feminism". That the guardian.com allowed this piece to be posted shows us where they stand.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
The victim blaming continues... This time in the UK !!
"This week in the U.K., Judge Nigel Peters gave a suspended sentence to 41-year-old Neil Wilson after he pleaded guilty to “making extreme pornographic images and one count of sexual activity” with a 13-year-old girl. The judge explained his leniency as stemming from the fact that“the girl was predatory and was egging you on.” During the trial, the prosecution had declared the girl was “sexually experienced” and that “She appeared to look around 14 or 15 and had the mental age of a 14 or 15 year old despite being younger than that. There was sexual activity but it was not of Mr. Wilson’s doing, you might say it was forced upon him despite being older and stronger than her.” Law enforcement also found “a stash of images and videos depicting child abuse and bestiality” in Wilson’s home, but sure, the 13-year-old girl is the predator here."
-taken from salon.com(source cited below)
The rapist walks away with a suspended sentence because the 13-yr old girl looks predatory.??? Are you fucking kidding me? She is 13 years old. That says everything. Whether she looks predatory or innocent or elusive or confrontational should make absolutely no difference in a court of law. Isn't the law supposed to consider hard-core facts and not delusional subjective feelings? The only question this sort of judgment warrants is on whether the judge himself is of sound judgment, whether his mental faculties have taken to a tossing or whether he holds sympathy for the rapist because he himself holds "predatory" urges allowing him to make clouded unfair judgments. Additionally, I quite don't understand why it is relevant to the case that the girl looks 14 or 15 years old. Does that really matter? Even if she is 14 (or 15, let's humor this atrocious age issue), isn't rape still rape? Are the court of laws in the UK incapable of distinguishing between consenting adults and sexual abuse of power over children by grown 41-year old men ? How is this in anyway a difficult judgement to make? That the Law Enforcement found a stash of images and videos depicting child abuse and bestiality in Wilson's home only makes this case clearer to judge.
This man has violated a child, in a way she probably will never recover from. How is this man allowed to have a free pass? The man who obviously has violent sexual tendencies, has literally been given permission to continue this sort of behavior. This is a humanitarian issue and much less a feminist issue. It is a matter of justice being denied, when it should have been handed justly and swiftly to the criminal. Instead the victim has been reprimanded and even accused for being raped. How is this justified?
Sources:
http://www.salon.com/2013/08/06/the_girl_was_predatory/
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
More Moms In Businesses
"Today in the United States and the developed world, women are better off than ever before. But the blunt truth is that men still run the world. While women continue to outpace men in educational achievement, we have ceased making real progress at the top of any industry. Women hold around 14% of Fortune 500 executive-officer positions and about 17% of board seats, numbers that have barely budged over the last decade. This means that when it comes to making the decisions that most affect our world, our voices are not heard equally."- Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
Crowdfunding !! Solution to all world problems!!
Who hasnt heard about Kickstarter by now? For those who haven't, Kickstarter is the first-of-a-kind crowdfunding revolution. For complete newbies, Wikipedia defines Crowdfunding as:
"Crowdfunding (alternately crowd financing, equity crowdfunding, crowd-sourced fundraising) is the collective effort of individuals who network and pool their money, usually via the Internet, to support efforts initiated by other people or organizations."
I am a huge believer in the power of crowd-funding and the open source movement. It has the power to decentralize power originally resting in the hands of huge multinational corporations to the hands of mere mortals, mortals who are capable of bringing social change into the world. Kickstarter was the beginning. Kickstarter changed the way in which creative projects got funded.
Now is the time to change the way in which social projects get funded, not just in developed countries but around the world. You may find it a little hard to believe, but the movement has already started. Below is the Introductory video to Chime for Change.
Reluctant to give away money? Then lend as little as 25$ to change lives at Milaap.org.
If you know about other cool crowd-funding platforms, do not to hesitate to add them in the comments sections and I will soon add it to the list. Let this become a crowd-sourced page on crowdsourcing.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
The everyday sexism project completes one year!
"A girl in Pakistan described hiding sexual abuse for the sake of "family honour". A woman in Brazil was harassed by three men who tried to drag her into their car when she ignored them. In Germany, a woman had her crotch and bottom groped so frequently she described it as "the norm". In Mexico, a university student was told by her professor: "Calladita te ves mas bonita" (you look prettier when you shut up). In Israel, a teacher with a master's degree who speaks six languages was told she "wasn't a good enough homemaker for my future husband". In France, a man exposed himself to 12- and 16-year-old sisters as they tried to picnic in a public park. On a bus in India, a woman was too afraid to report the man pressing his erect penis into her back."
-taken from the everyday sexism project
Although this post comes pretty late, I would love to congratulate the everyday sexism project for completing a year. Despite tons of hate mail (we all know how harsh they can get), and lack of initial funding, the everday sexism project is extremely successful in collating women's routine experiences of prejudice and harassment. Some of the posts are extremely horrifying and appalling and some of the posts are extremely commonplace. And people continue to ask why we need feminism.
Resources
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/the-womens-blog-with-jane-martinson/2013/apr/16/everyday-sexism-project-shouting-back
http://www.everydaysexism.com/
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
11-year old's speech against child marriage!
11-year old girl takes her stand against child-marriage and domestic violence. I wish I had her strength and bravery!! I hope she remains safe!! I can only hope!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Economic liberation = = Gender Empowerment?
As feminists explain again and again, we are not here to take anybody's rights away. We are only interested in demanding our basic human rights, and in doing that we are demanding equality.
As a child growing up in India, I do know a thing or two about empowerment of women. It certainly does not happen to those who are economically or financially disadvantaged. By putting themselves in a position of lesser power, women and men alike are literally and by definition ,unempowered. Unempowered people cannot stand up and fight for their rights, since most of them are busy earning their daily bread. They do not have the luxury of time to worry about rights and civic liberties. If some of them do find the courage to do so, they end up being slaves to a leader or a higher power in some form or other. This naturally led many of us to conclude that empowerment must come naturally to those who are financially comfortable, that these fortunate souls recognize that they do have power and it is up to them not to give it away and to continually fight for its existence. I was sadly mistaken. As it follows, empowerment does not follow economic liberation. Why do I say this, you ask? Well after visiting a developed country (whose name I will not mention), where most women enjoyed sufficient economic liberties, had physical freedom and were in positions to voice their rights, I think I am in a position to remark on the subject. I found most women looking up to men for their support, advice and happiness. Now, there's nothing wrong with this. I personally love men, have many male friends and enjoy their company. But not to the extent that I am willing to give up my self-respect. Not when they talk down to me in a condescending manner. Not when they explicitly treat women as sexual objects. Not when they consider women and girls as inferior, foolish beings incapable of achievement.( I am not talking about all men or all women, I am referring to the majority). Not when a considerable majority of women will never reach a leadership position. Not when rape culture continually perpetuates in universities, schools and workplaces.
The satirical part of the whole matter is that the majority of women actually consider this to be the norm. As much that they look down on feminism as some form of weird voodoo that have no place in their lives. Most believe that sexual objectification of women is normal to the extent that they have absolutely no problem objectifying themselves. They actually believe that without men, they have absolutely no value to their lives. Consequently, to keep these "men" in their lives, they go as far as possible to please them in every way. This form of passive victimization shouldn't have happened in this part of this world, what with a high social development index and economic empowerment. What possibly went wrong? I'm still continually puzzled. Is it lack of education or is it just blatant acceptance of chauvinism?
Patricia Lockwood's new poem
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| The Lady of The Shallot by John William Waterhouse |
The poem aptly titled "Rape Joke" published in The Awl,, holds no delusions on what it is supposed to convey to the reader. It gives the reader a very straightforward and brutally honest look at why the act of rape is still a "rapejoke". As we all know, true art is not just meant for pleasing the eye (or in this case pleasing the ears), but also to nourish our hearts and coax our minds to think. The "RapeJoke" does precisely that and more. Patricia Lockwood succeeds not just in creating a literary masterpiece but also excels in drawing the reader to the plight of the young victim, barely out of school. The young victim who laughs on recounting her rapejoke to her devout catholic father. We are allowed a glimpse into how a father could possibly react:
"The rape joke is that when you told your father, he made the sign of the cross over you and said, “I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” which even in its total wrongheadedness, was so completely sweet."
Such reactions are not unheard of and it wasn't completely unexpected. In fact, it would have been unexpected if the father was to console the daughter and help her seek medical attention. The soul-crushing sadness is held constant throughout the work, but it feels empowering rather than disheartening as the victim is neither crying out loud or lamenting. Instead the poem takes on the perspective of an observer who is merely pointing out the events in a timeline. Casually observing! Very much like how we would observe past events that are unfortunate. With careful disdain. In capturing that essence, the poem becomes frighteningly real.
Ms. Lockwood then turns the light on the victim-bashing! No rape incident would be complete without the inherent victim-bashing:
"The rape joke is that you asked why he did it. The rape joke is he said he didn’t know, like what else would a rape joke say? The rape joke said YOU were the one who was drunk, and the rape joke said you remembered it wrong, which made you laugh out loud for one long split-open second. The wine coolers weren’t Bartles & Jaymes, but it would be funnier for the rape joke if they were. It was some pussy flavor, like Passionate Mango or Destroyed Strawberry, which you drank down without question and trustingly in the heart of Cincinnati Ohio."
It would be interesting to see how one could portray the view of the rapist in a poem. How does that mind actually work? Is it an uncertain, indecisive mind? To rape or not to rape? How would that go? Not to go out of context, Lockwood's poem is absolutely a definite classic and a true heart-burner!
On Woolf's insight into sexism.
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| First Edition Cover |
"Without self-confidence we are as babies in the cradle. And how can we generate this imponderable quality, which is yet so invaluable, most quickly? By thinking that other people are inferior to oneself. By feeling that one has some innate superiority--it may be wealth or rank, a straight nose, or the portrait of a grandfather by Romney--for there is no end to the pathetic devices of the human imagination --over other people. Hence the enormous importance to a patriarch who has to conquer, who has to rule, of feeling that great numbers of people, half the human race indeed, are by nature inferior to himself. It must be indeed one of the chief sources of his power."
-Virginia Woof, Except taken from "A Room of One's Own".
"A Room of One's Own" is an extended essay by Virginia Woolf. It is a piece of feminist text that reveals amazing insights into Woolf's thinking processes. That she was able to formulate this conclusion in her mind in that time period speaks multitudes about her independent and creative mind.
For centuries, patriarchy has been successful in imprinting minds with the same old spiel on how women are naturally inferior when compared to men. To be able to overlook and overcome this overbearing, stifling school of thought and to simultaneously look at the argument objectively is an admirable achievement. Women have always been told, since the day they are born, that they have inferior minds and inferior bodies and that they cannot live without men. The negative overshoot of such vehement, deep psychological conditioning is that women themselves tend to start doubting their abilities. I admit to having done that despite having overwhelming evidence against it. In fact, multiple studies in multiple industries show that women often judge their own performance as worse than it actually is, while men judge their own performance as better than it actually is. We start questioning ourselves, our abilities, the integrity of our minds, our reasons for existence and even the value of our lives in this world. There has been countless cases where women driven by such conditioning, end up taking their own lives. However, this work of art shows that Woolf, despite being subject to such sexism and anger herself, was able to come to a reasonable conclusion on why sexism exists. It is indeed a monumental and pivotal moment in feminist history.
When I think of all those women who have been forced into slavery, denied education, mentally tortured, sexually harassed, physically harmed, raped, mauled or reprimanded for having been born as a woman in any way, I feel extremely saddened. Every woman, girl, boy and man is human and should not be denied basic human rights. To hit any human being who does not have the strength to hit back should be a sacrilege. To treat any human unjustly should be unforgivable. To be denied the basic right to a life should be condemnable to the extent that the perpetrator should go punished. Despite the years of progress that the women's movement have made through the years, women all over the world are still denied their basic rights over and over again.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Looking forward to reading all of Gloria Steinem's books.
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning."- Gloria Steinem
Events to be excited about this year:
San Francisco, CA
December 5, 2013
176 days to go
Wish I could attend both!! Sigh!!
Photo Credits:
Monday, June 10, 2013
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On Sheryl Sandberg's new book, "Lean In" and why it's one of my favorite reads this summer.
"Feminism, when it truly achieves it's goals, will crack through the most basic structures of our society."-Shulamith Firestone
I did not start reading this book on any expectation that it would give me a glimpse into what it is to live as a COO of Facebook. I started reading it because one review claimed that it was (in the author's own words) a feminist manifesto. I realized that it must have been hard for the author to type those two words and face the stigma of forever being labeled a feminist, especially when you are a public figure and are constantly featured in the limelight. Sandberg herself admits these fears, openly and fearlessly. There is something extremely admirable in such an act. She further admits that she was hesitant as a young woman to openly admit to being a feminist. It is a sad fact that most women AND men are extremely shy and reluctant to admit to being feminists because of the stigma and the stereotypical image attached to it.
Sandberg has done a beautiful job of explaining why such fears exist. In my own words, they have been put there as a passive form of victim -blaming. Silence the speakers, in fact outcast them. Label or target all feminists as man-hating, crazy, harassed women. Well, I have news for you. We are not. In fact, most of the feminists I have talked to are extremely loving, funny, kind, well-meaning, smart and generous individuals and I am not just talking about the women. Feminists are just human in demanding their basic human rights. Sandberg's book is an extremely honest, heart-wrenching read. Honest because she says it like it is. Heart-wrenching, because we still have to speak up for these basic rights. That even the talented, smart, funny Sheryl Sandberg took such a long time to speak up only says volumes of the stifling culture that patriarchy has so easily used to shut us up. We can only hope that this book would encourage more women to aspire to hold leadership positions and not leave their jobs so early in their careers. It's high time everyone realized that women are 50% of the population and are capable of improving societies and economies.
Photo Credit
Cover of Time
http://www.businessinsider.com/sheryl-sandberg-is-on-the-cover-of-time-2013-3
I did not start reading this book on any expectation that it would give me a glimpse into what it is to live as a COO of Facebook. I started reading it because one review claimed that it was (in the author's own words) a feminist manifesto. I realized that it must have been hard for the author to type those two words and face the stigma of forever being labeled a feminist, especially when you are a public figure and are constantly featured in the limelight. Sandberg herself admits these fears, openly and fearlessly. There is something extremely admirable in such an act. She further admits that she was hesitant as a young woman to openly admit to being a feminist. It is a sad fact that most women AND men are extremely shy and reluctant to admit to being feminists because of the stigma and the stereotypical image attached to it.
Sandberg has done a beautiful job of explaining why such fears exist. In my own words, they have been put there as a passive form of victim -blaming. Silence the speakers, in fact outcast them. Label or target all feminists as man-hating, crazy, harassed women. Well, I have news for you. We are not. In fact, most of the feminists I have talked to are extremely loving, funny, kind, well-meaning, smart and generous individuals and I am not just talking about the women. Feminists are just human in demanding their basic human rights. Sandberg's book is an extremely honest, heart-wrenching read. Honest because she says it like it is. Heart-wrenching, because we still have to speak up for these basic rights. That even the talented, smart, funny Sheryl Sandberg took such a long time to speak up only says volumes of the stifling culture that patriarchy has so easily used to shut us up. We can only hope that this book would encourage more women to aspire to hold leadership positions and not leave their jobs so early in their careers. It's high time everyone realized that women are 50% of the population and are capable of improving societies and economies.
Photo Credit
Cover of Time
http://www.businessinsider.com/sheryl-sandberg-is-on-the-cover-of-time-2013-3
Why am I a feminist?
I have
been frequently asked by my family, friends and even strangers as to why I call
myself a feminist. People even get angry when they realize that I call myself a
feminist. To all these negative reactions and questions: I have just one
defense: Why are you not a feminist? Do you not believe in equality for all human
beings? Well if you do my friend, (and I sincerely hope you do) then you are a
feminist. A feminist is someone who believes in giving women the same equal
opportunities that men have so freely enjoyed from the beginning of time.
Feminists are not people who want to deny anyone rights. We believe in equality
and justice for everyone. Is it so hard for people to understand this very
simple humanitarian concept? I actually know the answer to that one. Yes, it
has been and it will continue to be unless everyone starts speaking out. I am
not scared of calling myself a feminist and neither should you be.
There is
another extremely interesting response. “But you currently enjoy all the rights
men do. What more do you want?” Do I? Am
I allowed to walk at night alone? (This one applies to women in developed and
developing countries) Am I allowed to choose what I want with my body? If I
dress like a man, will I be treated like a man? Will everyone see me as an
equal, both in the classroom and in the workplace? The next question is a
particular favorite of mine and every woman who lives in a developing country
will nod their heads at this one: Am I allowed to walk on the streets without
being stared at my chest? Am I allowed to get into a crowded bus and not be
groped? Will I be guaranteed safety in my workplace and in my commute to work?
Will girl fetuses continue to be thrown into ditches before they even take in
their first breath? Will my parents need to save every penny to get me married
off to a nice groom? Will I be able to choose the man I want to spend the rest
of my life with? If I do fall in love, will I and my partner be guaranteed safety
from the so-called moral policing in the society? Will I be able to have a job
and support myself financially after getting married? Why do I need to quit my
job when my partner and I have children? If it was an equal marriage, why
should I be the one who should be subjected to the pain of childbirth? Will I be
granted equal pay, when I perform the same amount of work as men do? Will I be guaranteed asylum if my husband
abuses me either physically or mentally? These and countless other questions
should cloud the mind of every thinking woman and man. I admit that most of these
questions become relevant more so in developing countries than in developed
countries. As long as I am denied my rights, I shall fight for them. This blog
is my hope. Through this blog I am trying to speak up for all those women who
are unable to speak up and move along silently for the whims of this
patriarchy? And again I ask the same question: Why are you not a feminist?
I take
this time, space and oxygen to thank all those brave women and men who have
fought for the very rights we currently enjoy and so often we all take for
granted. If not for the selfless acts of these very fabulous people, I would
probably have been married off at an age of 5, denied education, and been
pregnant several times over and looking after three or four kids at the age of
12. Thank you for fighting for all of our rights. I will definitely try to pay homage
to several of you as frequently as possible. I also promise to continue
fighting for our rights in my own way.
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